


Say You'll Remember Me

by iammisscullen



Category: One Direction
Genre: Angst, M/M, This is canon but at the same time AU, my reaction to Zayn leaving, zarry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 01:11:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3631044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iammisscullen/pseuds/iammisscullen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry remembers and hopes he forgets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say You'll Remember Me

**Author's Note:**

> Self-indulgent. I'm upset.  
> Title from Taylor's WILDEST DREAMS becos that's what I have been listening to.

_‘I know I am but summer to your heart, and not the full four seasons of the year.’_

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

 

**

Harry stares at the sunset – orange and red and pink, melting into each other majestically that leaves him in awe; the colours blending in a harmony that makes his heart cringe in his chest.

Harmony. Pale and gold fingers intertwined is also harmony, for Harry that is. But then, even harmony can’t save those hands to slot together – forever.

He doesn’t go back to his room. There’s so much their to haunt him: clothes that are half his and half Zayn’s, knickknacks – a half read _Peter Pan_ book and a DVD of the movie that he begged Zayn to watch with him because it’s one of his many favourites; mementos of _What Have Been_ and of _What He Could No Longer Have_. And it’s awful, like someone-snatched-his-dreams-away awful because he had everything in the palm of his hands. But now it’s all gone, like it never happened at all, yet it did and the remnants are merely ghost – present and untouchable at the same time. Frustrationis what it brings.

He stares at his two massive hands – palm up – unconsciously closing and opening them like he’s grasping for something. Maybe it wasn’t just his heart that keeps on reaching for something, itching for olive skin and hazel eyes.

He closes his eyes, refusing to acknowledge the instincts of his body to snuggle up to someone, to fist raven black hair, to suck red thin lips. But behind his eyelids, he sees it all, remembers it all…

 _I’m not giving up that jumper you know,’ Harry teases as he sees Zayn putting the last piece of clothing in his_ Louis Vuitton _holdall. He just hopes his voice doesn’t sound like the shattering heart behind his ribcage._

_Zayn smiles sadly. ‘I know.’_

_‘And I’m not giving back the clothes that is still in my room,’ he adds, mocking a stubborn child who’s refusing to share his toy._

_You can keep them till I get back,’ Zayn says._

_Harry wants to ask_ Until when? _but it hangs in his tongue along with the_ I’ll miss you.

_Silence stretches between them; Harry on the verge of pulling Zayn close and never letting him go, and Zayn playing with the hem of his leather jacket._

_‘I want you to stay,’ Harry says. ‘But you can’t. I know,’ he adds before Zayn can remind him again. Harry wants to beg, keep Zayn in his pocket and promise that he’ll shield him from everything that he fears, that hurts him. He’s willing to fight Zayn’s wars if it means Zayn will stay._

_'Haz,’ Zayn begins, but never the master for words, he envelops Harry in a hug instead._

_Harry tries to remember everything he can about Zayn: the curve of Zayn against him, Zayn’s smell of_ Gucci _aftershave, the way Zayn breathes, the temperature of Zayn’s skin. Anything._

_Harry also tries to recall the things Zayn had told him: dreams, biggest fears, weirdest ideas, etc. He mentally lists down Zayn’s likes and dislikes._

_And when Zayn pulls away, Harry saves the memory of his face; the way his lips curves in a smile, the way his mouth forms heart shape like – eyes in slits and nose crinkling – when he laughs, the long lashes that Harry wants to hang himself on just to be part of Zayn._

_He tucks it all away in a box to look at it when he thinks he’s forgetting, because he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to be Wendy with Zayn as his Peter Pan._

_‘You won’t forget me, right?’ Harry asks. He knows Zayn knows he’s a sucker for Jeremy Sumpter and Rachel Hurd-Wood lines from the movie._

_‘Me? Forgetting?’ Zayn smiles boyishly like Jeremy in the movie. ‘Never.’_

Maybe Zayn had forgotten. Maybe he moved on. But Harry can always pretend Zayn hasn’t.

 

_Fin._


End file.
